I found this post in my "drafts" folder recently. Apparently I had written it and never hit "publish" for whatever reason. I think it fitting that I share it with you today, in completely random fashion.
This piece was originally written in April 2008. I think it offers a telling glimpse into the life of an instructor of English composition.
Without further ado...
The following is a sample of unintelligible sentences, brought to you by my students. (I only wish I were kidding.)
"They have put the thing that matters least about a person the most important aspect." ( I wholeheartedly agree.)
"Because body image is so important to our self-esteem, when confusion occurs, there can be many effects." (Indeed.)
"Today many women are considered to be lenient and therefore lead to many cases involving the harassment of women." (Whaaaaa?)
Keep in mind that these sentences were constructed by college students, all of whom are native speakers of English.
And now, I would like to bring you...greetings from the painfully obvious:
"Advertisements are little slogans or pictures that urge you to buy what they are selling." (Thank goodness someone has finally explained this to me. I always wondered what advertisements are!)
Holy batshit, Robin! If these children are our future, what is to become of this world?