I am 32 years old, and I just urinated on my own clothing.*
Seriously. I'm not even joking. I was wearing a dress, sitting at home on the couch, working on some cross stitch on a Saturday evening (I'm a wild woman!); I went to the bathroom, forgot to pull my dress up, and just peed all over my damn self.
I haven't even been drinking. (I did eat some Greek yogurt that I suspect may have been outdated...but who can tell with yogurt? It all smells funny.)
*I suppose that's better than urinating on someone else's clothing, right? Right?
edited: Oh, shit. This is also Friday night. Not Saturday. I think I may have just had a mini-stroke. How else to explain this lapse in brain activity?