How the Culligan man saved my life.

One of the things that most excited me about moving into this house is that it has a bit larger kitchen than our old house--just large enough to have a dishwasher. It's been ten years since I've had a dishwasher, and that's a lot of hand washing...for Eli. But no, seriously, I've done a lot of dish washing over the years and it is NOT a task I enjoy.

We moved out here only to quickly find that the dishwasher was really more of a conversation piece, apparently, because due to the incredibly hard, iron-filled well water, we were unable to use it. When I ran dishes through it, they would emerge with crusted and dusty mineral streaks dried all over everything. We learned that the only way to avoid the streaking was to wash dishes by hand and then dry them immediately. Needless to say, there has been many a time I have walked through the kitchen trying to ignore the sinkful of dirty dishes glaring at me, telling myself, "Tomorrow, tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll wash the dishes..."

But yesterday, all of that changed. Yesterday, the Culligan man came. And made all my wishes come true. After the installation of a thirty billion trillion dollar water softener and filtration system, we now have unstinky, drinkable, useable water.

I was afraid to test out the dishwasher, knowing that if for some reason, it didn't work out, I would be totally crushed. As I loaded the dishwasher this morning, I told myself it was just an experiment. I said, "Self, you know this isn't going to work. The fates don't want you to have magically clean dishes. After all, the universe just really isn't that into you." But load the dishwasher I did. It was jam-packed with plates, glasses, sippy cups, Tupperware, the whole nine yards.

And I put it out of my mind, sort of forgetting I had even run the thing, until after Mog woke up from his nap. I walked into the kitchen, saw that the "clean" light was shining its little light like a beacon of hope...and I ever-so ***s-l-o-w-l-y*** pulled open the door.

Steam billowed out around my face, and a chorus of a million angels sang, "HALLELUJAH!!!"
The dishes were clean. Clean! Spotless! Streakless! Absolutely, 100% sparkling clean!

And I fell to my knees and cried.

And then I got to work putting away the Tupperware.


Elecia said...

Maybe I should have drank more of your water before. Apparently this huge baby is sucking up every ounce of iron in my system. I have to take pills to get more, while you are having yours removed.

Elecia said...

Maybe I should have licked your plates clean for you.

Seth said...

is your water now Flu-free as well? i really hope so. by the way, my lawyers are working up some papers which should be arriving certified to your house sometime tuesday. you're really gonna think twice about serving up that chili to your unsuspecting guests.