Eliot, here and now.

I delight in hearing my son use new words, grown-up words like "exhaust" and "privacy." He's such a curious little fellow. Every time he hears me say something that he doesn't understand, he asks what I mean. He's always listening and always asking questions. Often I hear him use words that I don't remember teaching him, words that he must have learned through context or repetition. Those are sometimes the funniest moments, when he pipes up with something completely unexpected.

"Mom," he'll say, with a big sigh, "This is terrible. I can't find my cement mixer."

or

"Yuck. Something smells. I think it's that truck's exhaust."

"I have to pee, and I'm going to need some privacy."

building a "cave"

watching Blue's Clues and trying to pretend he doesn't see Mommy taking a picture

 He has also decided recently that in addition to being a farmer when he grows up, he's going to be a "police guy." He's threatened to jail Steven and I for such infractions as winning too many games of Spiderman Uno in a row. This evening, when a stranger commented on his dancing in the coffee shop, he whispered to me, "Mom, when I get bigger, I'm putting her in jail."

enthralled with Little Big Planet on the PS3

At the present moment, we're also very concerned about Santa and his lists. I may have threatened him a time or two with the possibility of receiving nothing but reindeer poop in his stocking, and so now he's convinced that Santa is watching his every move and keeping score. A few days ago, he said, "Mommy, you're beautiful!" I smiled and said, "Thanks, sweetie. That's such a nice thing to say." And with a sly grin, he replied, "I know. Do you think Santa heard me?" When he picked a piece of dropped cereal off the kitchen floor and threw it away (after being asked by Steven to do so), he rubbed his hands together and said, "Well, now I'm definitely on the nice list!"

stirring his "coffee" (water) just like Mommy does

Here in the midst of the seasonal chaos, the first emotional year of being divorced and feeling like I'm playing tug of war with my ex, using Eliot as the rope, I'm just trying to focus as often as possible on the daily miracle of having this wonderful little boy in my life. As difficult as it can be at times, every moment spent with Eliot is worth it. Every new word he utters, every new game that captivates him, all the rascal-y-ness he brings into my life...I know I'm a better, stronger person for being this munchkin's momma. Definitely. Indubitably. Without a doubt.